3 Tips for a Happy and Healthy Marriage

Fairy tales often end with ‘and then they lived happily ever after’. The story is in the pursuit and the courtship. But what happens after that? ‘Ever after’ is a long time. What if the prince forgets to put his socks in the hamper each night? Or the princess always left the top off the toothpaste? What then?

Marriage is difficult. Yes, it is beautiful and magical and romantic. But it is also hard work. Things go wrong, and people grow and change. Sometimes differences are irrevocable. In those situations, the dream marriage is guided to a practical conclusion by divorce attorneys. This is not something we plan for when we walk down the aisle but, sadly, it is a fact of life.

What can we do to ensure that our marriage remains a happy and healthy one?

Listen

This sounds easy, but it’s not as straightforward as you think. You know the scenario where you’ve had a long, frustrating day at work. You’re tired, and all you want to do is sit back and watch something ‘easy’ on the TV. But your partner is talking and talking and talking. You’re only half listening because you’re putting the groceries away and trying to put the dinner on. This is natural. Of course, there will be times when you’re tired and distracted. But try not to make it the norm. If you’re frequently distracted and not engaged, then this could cause problems.

Try to make a time when you and your partner can talk uninterrupted. Go out for a drink. Talk over coffee. You could have a standing date where you sit in your favorite coffee shop or deli and chat about the week and what’s going on in your lives. Listen to what your partner has to say.

Don’t Try to Change Each Other

You married your partner for a reason. You feel in love with them for a reason. So why would you want to change them? We all have habits that annoy other people. The frustration and annoyance can escalate a little when you’re living with someone. Try not to let those things mount up and take over. If there are things your partner is doing that is driving you nuts then talk to them about it. Perhaps start with, “Is there anything that I do to annoy you?” Discuss those things and laugh about them. You could make a pact for each of you to make a small change.

You need to pick your fight with this one. Nagging at someone over every little thing they do will get you nowhere. Learn to let things go. Also, read our article on how to spot there’s a problem in your marriage.

Keep it Interesting

Sometimes everyday life takes over. We get bogged down with work, the house, bills, etc. And it can feel like a treadmill. It is inevitable that this happens sometimes. But make sure you don’t let it swallow you up. Keep things fresh and interesting. Suggest a date night in the middle of the week. Surprise your partner with a fancy meal and candles. Arrange to go on a trip together or start a new hobby together. Be unexpected and spontaneous. Try not to let things get stale and mundane.

Marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. It is something to work at. When it becomes difficult or mundane, try and remember the reasons you fell for your partner in the first place. Find ways to recapture those feelings. Listen to each other and be present.

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