5-Steps to Forgive Someone and Move On
The following is a guest post by Divine Grace Buszka, Her bio follows.
We all deserve happiness, but many of us can’t seem to get to a place of pure joy. Perhaps it is because you are hanging onto anger towards someone who has wronged you. It happens to all of us. Whether it’s a co-worker, a family member or a friend – we’ve all resented someone who hurt us. It can be toxic. The longer we carry around that hurt, the more bitter, cold, cynical and closed off we become.
Forgiveness is one of the toughest things you can do, but it is essential if you want to move on. Learning to forgive properly can heal deep wounds and create a happier, more peaceful life. It can also save your relationships, your social life, and even your job if you are angry at the boss. So, when you find yourself in this position, consider this: forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for ourselves.
When we forgive others, we are not saying that what they did is okay and we’re not letting them off the hook! Instead, we are giving ourselves permission to let go of the anger, resentment and all the pain they caused us. That is how we set ourselves free. That is how we create space in our lives to find peace and happiness. It changed my life. Forgiving my ex-husband helped me get over my divorce, find enlightenment and finally have the courage to write my first book, “A Little Bit of Grace, A Spiritual Memoir.”
Here are 5-steps you can take to shed the hurt and resentment and forgive someone for wronging you.
Locate your pain.
Stop, take a deep breath, and step back from the situation. Zoom out and take a look at the bigger picture of what that person did and why it upsets you. Try to identify the emotional pains such as anger, resentment, fear or sadness.
Determine the emotional block.
Is there a deeper reason you are angry? Figure out why this person hurt you and do your best to determine why it’s so difficult for you to let this go. Then, try to step into the other person’s shoes. Do your best to look at the situation from their perspective without bias or judgment. What fears or insecurities of theirs might be they be projecting?
Have compassion.
After doing your best to learn the other person, have compassion for who they are as another flawed human. They are also trying to feel loved and be loved. A lot of people will project their own fears and insecurities towards others due to feeling unloved and this may be the root of their negative actions toward you.
Surrender, forgive, and let go.
Be brave and make the conscious decision to forgive and to let go. Know that when you do this, you are not only setting the other person free, you are setting yourself free. Forgiveness is for you, not for anyone else because it sets you free from hurt. When you forgive and let go, you are loving yourself enough to give yourself peace.
Send the other person peace and love.
Do the work to heal and grow from the experience. Remind yourself that we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes. If the other person is unwilling to grow from it, that’s not your responsibility. It’s not your karma. Send the other person peace and love, and then let go and move on.
Forgiveness is a personal process and no one can do it for you, but you can and should do it for yourself. As you start to let go, you will find it easier to come to terms with the hurt and move on with your spiritual evolution. It guided my journey of self-awareness and self-love, which I share in my memoirs to empower others to take the first step.
If you are also interested in Divine Grace’s book, it will be released on Kindle May 31 for free for three days.
About the Author
Divine Grace Buszka is an author, spiritual teacher and life coach. Through her San Diego practice, Divine Intuitions and website Divine Grace Today, she provides empowerment coaching and spiritual guidance to help her clients find peace, happiness and healing. Her new book, A Little Bit of Grace, A Spiritual Memoir, will be released digitally on May 31. It is a must read for anyone seeking to manifest healing, love, peace, freedom and happiness.
