I’m Engaged! Now What? The Talks You’ll Need To Have
If you are fortunate enough to have recently got engaged, it’s only natural for your mind to turn to the wedding. Beautiful venues, great entertainment, delicious catering and a stunning dress will all be at the forefront of your mind. But there is something you need to do first. Before you so much as think of planning your wedding, you need a talk with your partner. It needn’t be stressful or accusatory in any way, but there are some areas you need to be clear on before proceeding. Many people wait until they are secure in their marriage before having the talks they should have had at the start. This can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and upheaval. Especially if the answers aren’t the ones they were hoping for. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner or dread asking the serious questions, then you need to think. Is this the person that I could see being my closest confidant for the rest of my life? Anyone can be nervous when having a frank discussion with a loved one. But if you ultimately feel like you’ll see eye to eye and respect each other’s opinions then it’s a great sign.
Tradition
Before beginning planning the wedding, it is important to discover whether either of you have family traditions. Perhaps you both come from different cultures and would each like to incorporate some aspect of it into your big day. Maybe your mother has a special ring she would like you to wear or an item she hopes you’ll accept. A wedding is the start of your own family but it also brings together two existing families. You should never feel under pressure to do anything you are not comfortable with. This is your once-in-a-lifetime special day after all. But it is worth bearing in mind that out of respect to your family and the family of your spouse, there may be some collaboration. Try to clarify early on what will be expected and then work around your own personal boundaries. That way, everyone will be happy and comfortable on the day. No-one will feel excluded or have had their feelings hurt.
Finance
This can be the touchiest subject even for established couples. It is more and more common that financial burden is spread equally between both parties of the wedding. But this can be down to personal, social, and even religious values too. Who is paying for the wedding? How will you fund your honeymoon? Where do you intend to live afterwards? It is not wise to assume that these questions will simply answer themselves. Try to clarify finances early on to avoid stress and unnecessary embarrassment. Sharing all burdens is usually the way of the modern couple, but it is always worth checking. This could also be the time to raise the question of whether to talk to prenuptial agreement experts. This can be an uncomfortable topic for some couples but it shouldn’t be. It can actually demonstrate that you value the rights and comfort of both parties.
Honesty
Is there anything that you or your partner should know? A marriage above all things should be honest. We are inviting this person into every aspect of our world, life, and love. The chances are you will already each other very well. You are likely to have been in your current relationship as partners for a long time. But you should still take the opportunity to raise any truths or concerns.
Being Engaged is a Beautiful Beginning!
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