From “Reality Shame” to your “Dream Life”

There’s a bit of an epidemic happening right now! I’m calling it “reality shame.”

Can you relate?

Someone asks how things are going and what you’ve been up to and you kind of shrink back and beat around the bush because you have absolutely nothing exciting to share? And it feels awful!

It’s always a bit of a painful wake-up call when we realize we are genuinely not excited about our day to day life!

And then you wonder how you got here.

Another year has passed in your life. Life is just whizzing by. Have you felt that? You know you want more out of life but don’t know where to start and how to change the situation?

Let’s start by creating a bucket list to guide your life dreams and career ambitions. In case you aren’t sure, a “bucket list” is a list of things you want to accomplish in your lifetime. These are the big goals, the lofty life dreams, the stuff you might think is a little crazy or out there but would love to try.

What topics appear on bucket list of life dreams?

Not achieving our goals or fulfilling our dreams is often because we don’t actually know what our dream is. You need to have a vision. A clear and detailed understanding of where you’re heading and what you want to do once  you get there.

The next big question: how do you go about ticking off what’s there?

You know that dreams can be powerful drivers, so look to your dreams for the passion and commitment to move to the next level in your career, relationship, business or life in general.

Figure out what you need to reach these bucket list goals. Set a plan. Create your road map and retro-engineer your path to achieve those goals and live a happier life. Remember that goals have to be attainable for you to actually achieve them. A plan is great, but you have to break it into increments of progress.

Often we think we can only live our dream lifestyles when we’ve reached our big goals, but I don’t believe that to be true. We can start living our dream life now. We just need to think about the small things (and the big things) that could help us live our dream life this year. Maybe you really want to be a writer? That doesn’t mean you have to get an English-major degree right now or write your best-selling novel tomorrow. You can start planning the small stepping stones that are going to get you that end result. Who should you reach out to? What books should you start reading? What leisure activities will help cultivate that dream in your daily life? Where can you start writing for free? Who can you help rewrite a paper/essay for practice and good ol’ word-to-mouth recommendation?

So in order for that list not to be overwhelming – start small and work your way up. Your first project doesn’t have to be a “game changer”, rather a small step towards the right direction. Start where you are and do what you can with what you have.

Without an end point to reach for, you may find yourself meandering through the field of life, picking daisies and absorbing the sunshine—which is perfectly fine if that’s all you want! When you want more, though, you have to plan, you have to bring what you need into your life to go for the gold.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What are my bucket list goals?
• Do I know what it takes to get there?
• Do I have the resources to reach them now?
• What do I need to bring into my life to be aligned with meeting my goals?
• Can I set small, achievable steps to reaching these goals?

I’m sure you’ve read enough about SMART goals and other productivity hacks (here’s a great reminder ), but without the first step – of dreaming big – nothing is going to get you there.