How to Stop Overscheduling Yourself
Between work and social obligations, many people quickly become dismayed after looking at their calendars on a given day. Although there are many gadgets that make it easier for us to keep track of everything, some may argue those “helpful” tools actually encourage us to pack more and more into our schedules.
Does it feel like you’ve reached the breaking point? If so, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. Many people start overscheduling themselves without even realizing it’s happening, but before they do something about it, the damage has already been done.
Keep reading to learn some actionable strategies that’ll allow you to keep your schedule much more manageable without burning bridges or feeling like you’re socially deprived.
Be Realistic About How Long It Takes You to Handle Responsibilities
Many people start to feel their stress levels rise after not being practical about how long it actually takes to get essential tasks accomplished. For example, on a good day, you may be able to get to the office within about 20 minutes. However, if you take into account the fact you usually get caught up in traffic, it may be more realistic to figure you actually spend about a half hour commuting in each direction.
On the other hand, maybe you take care of things that have greatly differing time commitments depending on the specifics of the task. Perhaps you always help your middle schooler with homework, but you know there are some days where he can get most of it done in study hall.
In an instance like that, it can be almost impossible to predict how much of your time will be taken up by acting as a homework helper. That means determining the amount of your schedule that’s left over for other activities is also difficult.
When in doubt, always give yourself more time than you believe will be necessary to finish a task fully without feeling rushed or stressed. Being generous with your calculations provides a cushion so you can better cope with unexpected obstacles.
Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
In addition to being honest with yourself about scheduling, do the same when making commitments to others. There is no harm in being straightforward with the people in your life. It’s all right to explain it may be tough to guarantee you can be somewhere at a certain time, especially when things don’t go as expected.
For instance, say you had made plans to meet a friend for dinner, but a meeting lasted longer than you thought it would. It’s most likely acceptable to let that friend know what happened as soon as possible and propose moving the dinner to another evening.
Ideally, you might also contact that person beforehand and let them know you will be in a meeting directly before the dinner. That way, it’s not a shock to anyone if your schedule doesn’t make it feasible to attend dinner after that meeting.
Ask for Support
If you have spent most of your life trying to do as many things as possible in the course of a day, it’s important to realize you won’t be able to make lasting changes overnight — even with the best of intentions. However, you will have a much greater chance of success if people in your life understand you are trying to make scheduling improvements, and they provide support and encouragement.
When discussing this with friends and colleagues, it’s crucial to be as open as you can about how unmanageable your schedule has become. For example, you might want to reveal how an overly packed schedule has caused you to lose sight of what’s important in life and that you do not want to continue down that road.
It’s often said the first step in making an improvement is admitting you have a problem. Perhaps that’s true, but you also make a lot of progress by admitting it’s not realistic to make big life changes without a support system.
Embrace Your Solitude
It’s essential to leave time in your schedule for taking care of yourself. In many cases, the problem of overscheduling occurs because people are so eager to make others happy. When our hearts are in the right place, it sometimes takes quite a while to realize just how overextended we are.
Initially, you may feel guilty or even resentful if you specifically keep your schedule more open for the sole purpose of making sure your physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met. However, the better your state of being is, the more available you can make yourself to others.
Take time to understand what really makes you feel at peace when you are alone. Perhaps you might:
- Soak in a bathtub full of bubbles
- Go to the gym and put in a strenuous workout to the sound of your favorite tunes.
- Curl up on the couch with a book and soft pillow.
- Make a cup of herbal tea and write in a journal.
- Strum a guitar or play your piano.
Once you know how to get recharged and refreshed without having to be in the company of others, you’ll have accomplished something great in the quest toward making your schedule manageable.
Come up With Polite Ways to Decline Availability
We’ve already talked about how many people overschedule themselves because they are so concerned with pleasing others. However, problems can also result when people become resistant to the idea of simply saying they aren’t available.
Many people will say they can do something just because they are ill-equipped to admit they cannot take another obligation. Fear can also be a factor in taking on too much. People get preoccupied with the possible negative responses they could receive.
If that sounds familiar, make a list of ways you can let others know you’re not available to do something. You can practice saying them to yourself in the mirror if you think that will make the dialogue sound more natural. As long as you are truthful about the reasons why your schedule is already full, you shouldn’t feel too worried about letting other people down.
Remember, everyone has the same number of hours to work with in a day. The difference is this: Some of us have great self-awareness about our capabilities, while others of us are still anxiously trying to convince ourselves we can take on just one more thing.
Making your schedule more manageable is an ongoing process. Treat every step of progress as a victory, and be kind to yourself while adjusting to the new lifestyle you’re pursuing.
